There are two very powerful tools that you can use and they are:
When you make a decision and set a goal, you put out an intention and an expectation that you will have success. Decide on how you want your birth to go and then stick to that decision. You can adjust the plan as things come up, like I had to, but all in all, stay true to your goal.
Advanced decision is when you decide things ahead of time. These are your contingency plans. You see, when you decide ahead of time what you want to do in certain situations, then you can put them out of your mind. You can relax and focus on the outcome that you do want. What you focus on is what you get.
If you don’t make a decision about what you want, then you will end up doing what someone else wants. And that someone else is not the one who is birthing your baby, or living with the consequences of the decisions being made. There are going to be a lot of people who have opinions about how you should birth your baby. Your healthcare provider, your partner, your family, your friends, and even random strangers out in the community.
If you already know how you are going to birth your baby, and you have already decided how you are going to handle the different things that come up, then knowing what to do will be easy, and the whole process will be much more relaxed.
When you are making a birth plan it is best to make it as early as possible. If you are actively trying to conceive, I suggest making your birth plan before you are even pregnant. This plan has the potential to also direct how your pregnancy care is going to go. From the very first decisions you make when you get a positive pregnancy test.
Step 1: Find a quiet place to rest. Put on some relaxing music if you like. Now, close your eyes and imagine that you have already birthed your baby. Look around you. Where are you? Who is in the room? How did it happen? Look down at your baby. How do you feel?
Step 2: Now write out your birth story in past tense as if it has already happened. Doing this takes your mind from a place of anticipation, fear and anxiety, to the other side of the birth. A place of excitement, pure happiness and relief.
Step 3: Make a list of everything that you want based on your birth story. If you like, you can organize it to make it easier to read. Remember to write what you do want, not what you don’t want. The way it is worded makes a difference.
Step 4: Bring this with you to your very first appointment with your healthcare provider. You will know from the way they react to it whether or not they are someone who is going to support you in achieving the birth that you want.
The actual details of the plan may take some negotiating, but make sure not to compromise on what you want. Having what you want is possible!
And if you need any help with this feel free to reach out. Happy planning!